4 Ways for Guys Too Young for Singles Bars to Meet Beautiful Girls

Where can young guys meet and congregate casually with young women before they’re really ready for a major relationship?

Note: 2019, the guys that age now are no longer The Millenials. The Generational name to-date as a placeholder is Gen Z. I kindah like iGen, myself, but we’ll see.

Full Article: Ways for Guys Too Young for the Singles Bars to Meet Beautiful Girls

1. Too Young – The Bar Scene Is Not Your Friend

When you are that age, bars are certainly not your best friend.  When you’re young, you generally haven’t learned how to handle your alcohol, and will often be diminished should you manage to pick someone up for a one night stand.  Or worse, like the movie, “Knocked Up,” you will manage to function just fine in bed and live to regret the results anyway.

2. You Need to Hone Your Social Skills in a No-Kill Zone

Secondarily, unless you really are TBMOC The Big Man on Campus or Alpha Male, competing with the rest of the throng of single peer-age guys is too much. You’re really competing at a very superficial attraction level in a very short period of time of maybe an hour or 2, and that’s no way to develop your interpersonal social and relating skills which honing will benefit you now as well as later in life when maybe at least a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship appeals to you. You don’t need to be skillfully one-upped by some guy aiming for a hookup while you’re just trying to get some social skill practice in and actually learn a thing or two, right?

All the better to look for other locations for meeting and flirting with the opposite sex.

When you are eighteen or nineteen and you’re not headed off to a Four Year college or university program, that is totally cool.  You might be more of a kineasthetic learner who learns best by “show me and now let me do” as your learning modality.  That is perfectly fine.  Not everyone’s professional career path is nurtured and enhanced by spending 4 years at college.

3. Community Colleges Can Prove Useful

 

Even while you are not attending Harvard University this quarter, you can still leverage the Law of Large numbers and take a weekend seminar, a one night adult learning workshop, or even 1 single 13 week class at your local community college and meet lots of young women around your age.  While you are on campus, bopping in from you day job, be sure to invest as much time as possible on campus at the local snack or dining area on campus where people congregate.  You want to be sure to leverage the social hanging out time which is already made available to you there on campus.

Many of the community colleges have a CDO-Career Development Office. Check this place out even before you enroll in a single class. Many bright young women will be headed over here themselves to start the career path and destination resources in this office. While many career resource centers offer their workshops online these day, do be sure to request a listing of any live trainings they provide in order both to benefit your own work life but also to increase your opportunities to interact with girls, young women, live.

See if there are any workshops which meet for 3-6 sessions. Attending more than just 1 or 2 sessions offers you the chance to interface slowly and get a little acquainted via the interaction of the workshop. Be sure always to break the ice with others during any of the breaks. Simply asking for change, you left your debit card at home – for the vending machine can serve to break the ice and offer you a neutral food selections topic for a brief verbal conversational exchange without taking much of a social risk. The need to return on time to the workshop gives everyone a graceful out exit strategy.

4. Shopping Mall Food Courts

I know. It feels like high school all over again, doesn’t it? But guess what? Plenty of young women who are taking a part-time course load at the local community college work at the shopping malls.
Anyone who works at any of the stores has to eat, even if she brings her own meal.

The tables in the food court are typically open to any patron of the mall. Be sure to sit near but not next to others, leaving yourself open to able to break the ice with a young woman who sits near you.
Influence Power Tactic to Suggest Social Interaction: Feel free to take up a table meant for 4 as 1 person just before a meal rush so that a new young woman looking to eat her dinner during her 30 minutes meal break might ask if she could share the table with you. You know those tables for 4 which are really 2 seaters next to each other? Those. Pick one and spread your stuff out on all four seats until the crowd starts. Then only remove your things from the seat directly across from you. Then the one next to you. That bit of empty space invites others to be interested in sitting there and to solicit you to ask if she could sit there. Then, be sure to carry a conversation starter or notice and leverage hers to break the ice while she’s eating her dinner next to you.

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell
Follow and Engage with April on Twitter: @AprilBraswell
April Braswell is an expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com and speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Divorce Support Groups as well as at Singles Dating Workshops and Singles Conferences in Orange County CA Life Coach April Braswell, LA and San Francisco.

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Internet Dating Profile Writing Advice: Aim for Positive Phrases

When you write your online dating profile for the singles apps and websites, be sure to aim for positive phrases in the text body of your internet personals ads.

I see it all the time, plus professional internet matchmaking profile writing clients of mine email me examples of dreadful dating profiles that singles around the world are posting.  You might think that with online dating now a mainstream mating and courting phenomena that I wouldn’t need to coach about this, but when you see those profiles, then you know there are plenty of love seeking singles who could use reading and implementing my dating advice.

You want to aim to keep all of the words you use in your dating profile upbeat and positive.  A number of sites encourage you to ponder and surface your “Non Negotiables” and “Must Have” attributes for what you desire in a romantic relationship with a potential boyfriend or girlfriend.  And while that is a useful exercise to do for yourself to know and for your own mate seeking and searching filters, to actually cite the negatives specifically in your internet personals ad is unattractive.

Why is it a problem to include any negatives in your personals ad?

Quite a number of the singles sites encourage their members to builds lists of characteristics and hobbies to cite like a tick list or to do list in their profile.  Naming a few of your specific hobbies in your profile is an excellent idea.  Then your profile readers can get a better sense of who you are uniquely.  But do refrain from listing what you do not want.  Neither list them nor cite them.

It’s problematic to specify the negatives you do not want because of how our brain functions.  When we see or read something, we immediately conjure up that item in our mind.  Some people do it visually, others might smell or hear it more in their internal impression creation area.  Then you have seeded and suggested the very thing you do not want.  Allow me to give you an example so you’ll get the experience yourself quite rapidly.  Please don’t think of a Pink Elephant in the Living Room.  Whatever you pretend, don’t imagine a large Pink Elephant complete with trunk in the Living Room?  Did you see it and possibly even hear it?  Yup.  Just like that.  That is what the brain does.  That is how it works.  And once you have planted that impression in your readers’ mind, you very likely turned off all of the good ones.

It used to be in the era of Personal Ads in print physical Magazines and Newspaper that singles needed to cite a few of the items they did not want.  This became so common in the vernacular that 2 and 3 letter acronyms became common place to convey that information quickly and cheaply.  Using the acronyms saved on the cost of placing your relationship ad.  In that world, citing specifically that you wanted a Non-smoker made sense.

Additionally, there are websites serving the 12 Step community.  In that boutique market you could reasonably and appropriately cite that you desire another non-drinking mate.  However, in the mainstream singles websites, you no longer need to be so overt that the person who approaches you must not smoke.

What can you do instead in your profile?

Rather than whine about how you don’t desire to date a couch potato, you would be better served to emphasize your active outdoors lifestyle.  You could reflect this in both in the body of your personals profile as well as in your photographs for emphasis and so that potential dates really get a clear impression of who you are and what you’re looking for.  Notice how doing that created a positive and attractive feeling in you with no negative internal cringing.  Even if your reader doesn’t match with you, when your profile reads positively with poise, the feeling they have while reading that you’re an attractive single, whether they are personally interested in you or not.

Whether you are checking out the other singles online at the plethora dating sites or the social networking sites that encourage flirtation remember to aim to keep the majority of the message of your profile and photos fun, upbeat, and positive.  Then you are much more likely to attract other fun and healthy relationship seeking singles like you.  And isn’t that the whole reason you posted your profile so you could flirt, message, and meet more singles?  You’re doing great!

Happy Dating and Relationships!

April Braswell
As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Ed.
Midlife Singles Expert Topical Columnist at DatingAdvice.com
April Braswell is an expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com and speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Church Singles Ministries as well as Divorce Support Groups.  Looking to Book April to speak at your Singles Event?

Dating Expert's Online Dating Coach About IM Instant Messenger

Dating Expert Addresses – To IM or NOT To IM, That Is the Question….

Whether tis nobler in the mind to IM, Text, Email, or Phone!

When you are venturing online at the internet dating sites, you might be faced with a number of options for connecting with your prospect date, including some webcam features and instant messenger.

Online dating sites are a subset of the Social Media/Social Networking sites. They are specific subgroup of the Web 2.0 sites. I know, I know. My Silicon Valley Internet roots are showing. I was an early adopter with some of the sites, and an early adopter for my age group at some others. Well a lot of the sites keep adding features or changing the look and feel (aka GUI – Graphical User Interface) and focus. So what might have been your favorite application and game to play at one site becomes nearly a hidden feature in 2 weeks time, much to your frustration.

The Millenials have been dealing all of this frankly since most of them were in Middle School. But that also means that the very singles whom they are bonding and mating with right now quite often have seen extraordinarily personal details of their personal lives from over several years. Additionally, the Millenials are a dating generation where often there are a lot of opposite sex friendships. So putting up romantic boundaries to keep more of your personal life mysterious to a Prospective Date, well, it’s too late. They been a secondary level friend for a couple of years and have seen your 8th grade graduation photo and your Junior Prom dress for a couple of years now.

And now you’re all out on Facebook. You’re Friends. And Facebook added, awhile ago now, an Instant Messenger Feature. Whenever you are online, it immediately shows to all your FB Buddies that YOU are online. There is no chance to duck or appear mysterious or busy. It’s like broadcasting when you wipe your nose with a tissue. Just the scrutiny is a BIT close.

What can you do?
To IM or NOT to IM, that is the question…..

IMing is fine when you sort of get caught being online. Be brief. “Gotta dash!” And get offline quickly. You want to aim for actual dates in person to gauge chemistry and flirt and not do faux dates via Instant Messenger.

Additionally, there have been studies done that when singles start instant messenging each other that the IM exchange segues to cybersex within, mmm, nano-seconds. Not to be a prude whatsoever, just, you now really cannot gauge how interested you are actually in this person when you are doing cyber sex via IM.

If you can skirt IM completely, all the better. However, the Millenial generation texts like crazy and it is totally totally normal for them. They meet and are exchanging facebook friends contact information and phone numbers so they can text each other just about as soon as they meet.

You still need to establish connecting communication which is best done, yes, in person, where you can flirt and banter and display open body language or closed body language and Pan for Gold with your Conversation Skills.

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell

Online Dating Expert

Online Dating Coach - Dating Tips and Advice to Prepare for Romance and LOVE!

As we approach Thanksgiving here in the US, this is a great time to practice, practice, practice your relationship building and romantic communication skill set.

Are you ready?

For some great dating tips and advise, to start as an Online Dating Coach and Relationship Coach I inculcate for romance and romantic sex relationships, some of the work which I most recommend for my clients is to first start with their communication and personal magnetism skill set.

Irresistible Attraction: Secrets of Personal Magnetism

Irresistible Attraction is about becoming our most attractive in our behavior and interactions with others. The internationally knowned author of the best-seller, The Psychology of Persuasion, Influence and Persuasion master Kevin Hogan coauthored this very approachable book with Mary Lee Labay.

I'm kind of laughing here. Personally, whenever I think of this book, I think of it as like, Personal Magnetism and Attractiveness for the Rest of Us. Not quite the guide for idiots or dummies, but still!

Ok, so you are not actually a sought after celebrity movie star, super model or NFL star quarterback? So, you are not a 10 even a 9. Maybe you are a 7, a 6, or even a 4. In Irresistible Attraction, the authors teach you and provide quite a number of examples of behaviors and communications to have with others to increase your attractiveness quotient and to be more successful in dating.

And indeed, the more successful we are in dating, the greater our chances of finding love and creating a really great romantic relationship. I highly recommend this book to my clients to read and practice before heading out on Date0. It will really help you in your conversations to increase your attractiveness to others. And in romance, we all want to be more magnetically attractive, don't we? In which case, yup, go buy this book now.

All the best,

April Braswell

Online Dating Expert, Romantic Relationship Coach, Romance Coaching

Online Dating Sites Review, Internet Dating Sites Guide

Dating Tips After Divorce - Dating Coach

A number of my dating coach clients are divorced and are getting back into dating, sometimes after not having dated for awhile or where they've been dating but things just aren't going where they want towards creating a great life partner/marriage relationship.

So, recently, I've added another free dating articles contribution just for divorcees, Tips for Dating after Divorce

Check it out and get back into the swing of things.

Have fun and play safe!

All the best,

April Braswell
Online Dating Coach, Relationship Coach

Dating Coach - Dating Online Today

What is it is like, Dating Online today?

Indeed, the Internet Dating Sites and their protocol and etiquette change all the time.

Check here regularly for my tips and tricks and Dating Tips and Advice for Dating Online as a Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach.

Enjoy!

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach